Up the Down Beanstalk: A Wife Remembers
Peter S. Beagle
Special to the Cumulonimbus Weekly Chronicle,
as recounted by Mrs. Eunice Giant, 72 Fairweather Lane, East-of-the-Bean, Sussex Overhead He seemed like such a nice boy.
And he
was a nice boy, really, for all the vexation he caused. They always are; I’ve never eaten a bad one yet. Oh, there’s some don’t care for the crunchiness, I know that, and there’s others who complain about that sort of salty aftertaste. But you clean the palate with a couple of firkins of ale, and where’s the harm, that’s what I say. No, I like boys just fine. Always have.
The funny thing is that poor old Harvey didn’t like them, not really. Oh, he’d eat one now and then, if we were having dinner at someone’s house—I mean, you have to be polite, don’t you? But for himself, no . . . you could keep that man perfectly happy with a couple of cows, a couple of horses smothered in sheep, the way my mother used to do them—he loved that. Which wasn’t exactly what you might call labor-saving, because, after all, cows and horses don’t come running to you, do they? I mean, you have to go out and get them, and then you have to carry them all the way home. Not like people—you see what I’m getting at?
. . .